It all began at age 10; my parents had separated and were waiting for their divorce to be final. My father was in and out of the mental institution a lot for suicide attempts as well as bi-polar with schizophrenia. I was devastated at the thought that my sweet daddy was so lost and torn in this world. My father passed away from lung cancer 3 months later after diagnosis was confirmed, he was my world and now, it was gone. I had a hard time dealing with that loss but somehow got through. At age 12 my mother caught a “virus” that was eating her from the inside out, she was suppose to die. She was in a coma for 3 months and miraculously recovered on her birthday. She later was home but was not able to care for me so I was in and out of foster homes and eventually put into a group home for abandoned or troubled kids. My life was corrupted with smoking, drugs, and fighting for my survival, I was terrified. A little over a year later I was able to go home to my mother. I was at this point completely out of control abusing myself as well as my mother. My mother was diagnosed with SEVERAL health conditions and bi-polar depression, schizophrenia, and severe suicidal occasions. I was at a loss for a family to love me and was at the end. I was shortly entangled into a narcotic pill habit from my mother and then it was kept up and worsened by the life to come. I got into a relationship and thought I had finally found love, wow was I wrong. It all started out great and then the following 9 years were a terror. I was addicted and did anything and everything, things I am ashamed of just for a high, which I later discovered was my escape from reality. I worked but my money was always stolen from under my head while sleeping. I would sleep with my son in the bed in fear “he” would take him or kill me. Terror is an awful feeling but, I had no one else and he made sure I was aware of it. The county got involved due to criminal offenses by him and came and took our son, I thought that was the end. I left and moved several times only to find myself back in the same condition. My mother passed 5 years ago and I regret the way I abandoned her in a nursing home. I was embarrassed for her to see what I had become and how I was being treated. I wanted my mother to come live with us but he would never have that. I continued on my path of destruction taking stronger pills and a LOT more, I left him again for good. I worked for pills to go back and work for more pills and when the dealers were out I thought I would die from the withdrawals, the pain was so intense and sleep was never obtainable. I would get so high and would fall asleep smoking there were over 100 burns on my mattress and under my bed, I should have burned up, “but God”, I tried to barricade myself in the room and kill myself, “but God” had me look at a picture of my son and I couldn’t do it. An abusive relationship was still haunting me each day, he had entered my every thought and I was scared to breathe unless he said to. I was at Mike’s house hanging out one day withdrawing and he convinced me to get help, so I did. I was on the way to the ER and fell asleep 5 or 6 times and was vomiting all over, it was sad and scary, I finally saw how badly off I was. I was admitted to ICU because they said 2 more hours and I would have come in a body bag, talk about a wakeup call. Mike was there after an hour or two and hasn’t ever left my side since. We moved in together and things were shaky. I got pregnant with my daughter and shortly ran away in fear of love. We were reunited awhile after his decision to follow Christ, even though that was not the way I intended on going. I saw the difference in him and finally surrendered completely and have NEVER been more full of joy. We were married shortly after and a year ago got my son back for good. The Lord is so good, he has filled in the time gap as if we were never apart, and filled my kids with a strong desire to serve and love the Lord. I now minister to lost souls at the drug rehab as well as those the Lord has cross my path. Life used to be lonely and desolate but now, with my family and most of all Jesus, all is amazingly wonderful. I still have troubles with certain things, I have forgiven much but all is not forgotten, I am always reminding myself of where I came from to appreciate more where I am now. The valleys got LOW but the flat land and mountains were victorious enough to keep going. I always thought “Christians’ had a boring life, WOW, was I wrong. Jesus, who knew that following the Lord each step, could be this pleasing to the soul and fulfilling. The Lord has kept His hand on my life and I praise Him for that, I have been delivered from drugs, cigarettes, depression, but most of all from the grasp of the devil. He is now UNDER my feet as I walk with Jesus FOREVER MORE.